Moose Screwed the Pooch
BUNGLE: MISHANDLE, BOTCH-
-------If it Looks like a Duck, Walks like a Duck, it must be a Moose 
--Moose in Deep Shit up to his Rack: is told suspects black 1st killing
Police were told suspects were black from very 1st shot fired. Eyewitness also described getaway car.

Just hours after the Beltway snipers shot out a crafts store window here, kicking off a three-week rampage, a pizza delivery man on shift next to the store told local police he saw two short-haired black males leave the scene laughing and "high-fiving" each other in a dark, older-model car. 

Yet the sniper task force, led by Montgomery County Police Chief Charles Moose, ignored the early eyewitness account and focused instead on a white suspect in a white vehicle, according to MCPD investigators, who are now speaking out about what they call racially correct "tunnel vision" during the nation's largest manhunt.

-Racial PC = 12 victims!-
-lighter skin after treatments-
----I want to introduce the Hero of the Hour, ME! ------ Also, I have another message for the PRESS.
   
----Moose: We're looking for WHITE GUYS driving a White Van
Montgomery County, MD___ Former Mayberry deputy, Barney Fife, has come out of retirement and donned his uniform, ...to help out our neighbors to the north, as he puts it.

Mr. Fife recently retired from the North Carolina SBI, where he served as Special Investigator for 14 years.

Before joining the bureau, he worked for Mayberry Sheriff Andy Tailor as Chief Deputy for Training and Traffic.

'' We're looking for WHITE Guys only; No Brothers or Sisters, only Crackers! ''
No Racial Profiling Here!
---Chief Moose's  "Anti-Racial Profiling" Kit '' Only 3 payments of 19.95 each, charged monthly for 5 months to your credit card. ''
People of Color are Not to be Singled Out
Stop, Arrest, Name to Press, tie tin can to Tail- ah le, Richard Jewel
Generic White Guy
'' If only I had gone to Radio School ''
--Guilty White Guy
-
Skin Color Matching
To be used Only for apprehending Guilty, Generic, Gay, White Guys.
'' Only 3 payments of 19.95 each, charged monthly for 5 months to your credit card. ''
--FBI Rating:
--5 hoof marks-ööööö
Special Savings
From the Moose's Mouth.
'' No composite drawings will go out until we have a witness who only sees White Guys. ''
A Message from the Head Moose:
This Department Does Not do Racial Profiling! Serial Murderers are Never People of Color; they are usually Gay White Guys in their late twenties to early forties. They were Eagle Scouts and editor of their school's Yearbook.

Ethnic Head Dress, and Burkas are Not to be Searched. 
'' J~l^'('([jJ!/|~` ''
"Deff to mericans"
Pass Without Questions.
'' NO Hable de ENGLASE!
Under No circumstances are Ethnic Slurs to be used, such as: "Sand " or "Hanki-Head."

All ammunition, fire arms, WMD are to be returned with apologies.
 

Moose Munitions, Ltd.
All your Ammo & Firearm needs
Visit or Call
111 Maryland Avenue 
Rockville, MD 20850
                                              240-315-6969